I have always been a fan of high-school and college sweetheart love stories, especially since I am a product of one. However, as the years progressed and no relationship in sight, my belief in love dwindled. As the Lord has been rekindling my enjoyment in watching and reading content about romance, I notice that I become wistful about situations I wished to happen but never did. God made me realize it was because I didn’t trust that He would bless me with a love better than I imagined.

For years, it seemed like everyone was in a relationship but me. I once heard that if one was single, God was being selfish with you. Well, I was tired of God’s selfishness. I wanted a boyfriend and I wanted him THEN! Years later, I discovered the true blessing in God’s selfishness.

Growing up, I sung from my diaphragm Cheetah Girls’ “Cinderella.” However, when I was older, I was singing a different tune. I did WANT to be like Cinderella. I wanted a man to come and save me. It took a decade later to discover I did have a Savior and His name was Jesus.

Having a “ho phase” is coveted in today’s age. But is that phase as fun as we think it is? From personal experience and observations, we covet this phase to hide from a deeper rooted issue that can only be fixed with God. Plant yourself in Him and watch how that joy and happiness you’re looking for radiates from you when you give your life to Christ.

There was a period where I was wondering, “Why her?” It seemed like all my “exes” were able to move on to relationships while I was stuck being single. God gave me a revelation that I wasn’t created for just anybody and that there is beauty in my uniqueness.

Have you ever wondered what went wrong in a relationship? I have and usually by the time I hit the self-reflection stage, the ex has moved on with someone else, meaning it’s too late to ask. After years of contemplation, I finally asked God, the one who knew the answer to everything, “Why did the relationship end?” He simply responded, “Because that wasn’t the relationship I had for you.”

Whether subconsciously or consciously, we adopt the ideas and beliefs of our culture and surroundings. Beliefs that being single is a curse and that something is wrong with us can consume our brains and force us to believe that being in a relationship or married is the only way to happiness. Instead of looking at our single season as a curse, let’s begin to look at it as a preparation season. Let’s use this time to prepare to be the people and spouses we want to be!

For years, I viewed my single season as a storm that would never pass or as a never-ending desert (wilderness) season. However, earlier this year, I heard a sermon that made me realize that my single season is more than a storm or a desert period, but it is a period of preparation. A period that is for my benefit so that when my kingdom spouse does come, I will be prepared.

There's a saying that says, "Relationships are about give and take." In translation, that means relationships require reciprocity. If our relationship with God is reciprocal, then why can't we expect the same from our other relationships?

First loves. They are so exciting and magical, but for some people, they are the most heartbreaking. Trauma can rear its ugly head from a number of situations, including a first heartbreak. Let me be the one to tell you. Yes, you may still be hurt from your FIRST heartbreak. Yes, it’s ok to admit it. Lastly, yes, it’s time to heal from it.