I’d catch a grenade for you
Sacrifice is a highly valued action in any relationship. To develop, nurture or sustain any relationship, you must sacrifice your time, your plans and sometimes your money. There is always something else we could be doing – a book to read, a show to watch or an event to attend. There is always something we could buy for ourselves. However, choosing someone over yourself is a way to show someone that they are loved and valued. All 5 love languages are based on the principle of sacrifice. Quality time is sacrificing time. Physical touch is sacrificing your partner’s and your personal space. Words of affirmation is sacrificing the time to tell someone how appreciated and valued they are. Acts of service is sacrificing your time and whatever activity you would rather be doing to help another. Gifts is sacrificing your time and money to shop for the gift or to create the gift. In conclusion, sacrifice is vital in love and relationships.
The same is true about our relationship with God. He wants us to sacrifice our time so we can spend time with Him. He wants us to sacrifice our 10% to showcase our devotion and obedience to Him. However, God is merciful and understanding. He won’t ask for more than you have. In 1 Samuel when Saul and his servant were looking for runaway donkeys, the servant suggested to visit Samuel, the prophet, to help them locate the donkey. When Saul mentioned that they did not have an offering, the servant responded with, ‘‘Well,’ […] “I have one small silver piece. We can at least offer it to the man of God and see what happens!” (1 Samuel 9:8 NLT). Here it is demonstrated that God desires sacrifice and effort. If all you have is a little and you give it willingly, God is pleased. The same can be seen in 2 Kings 4 through the woman who filled several jars with olive oil when that was all she had. Furthermore, God also sacrificed for us. As John 3:16 (NLT) says, “For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.”
Reciprocity in sacrifice is a concept that I am understanding more as I mature. As I analyze my past relationships, I noticed that there has been an overwhelming imbalance of sacrifice. I love to give to those I care about – whether that’s finding time to see them or buying thoughtful gifts. I love to give so much that I don’t realize until much later that I am not being met with the same energy. By then, I’m feeling drained and/or aggravated. As I get deeper in my relationship with Christ, I realize that our human relationships are to mimic our relationship with God. After reading 1 Samuel 9:8, I realized that desiring reciprocity in relationships isn’t me being too much or not understanding enough. It’s me functioning the way God designed us.
For the readers who are like me, who give so much of yourself until there isn’t much left for you, first – STOP and set healthy boundaries. Second, reciprocity should be a requirement. If someone is not meeting you with the same energy, go to God and ask Him what you should do. For some, that could mean having a conversation about what you need. For others, that could mean distancing yourself and not allowing people as much access to your life or removing people from your life entirely. Also, ask God for wisdom, strength and courage to help you with the situation. Sometimes, God will do the work for you. Other times, God will make you put on your big boy or big girl pants and confront the situation yourself. Either way, God will be your rock if you let Him.
