What About Your Friends
A few years ago, I believed that one of my purposes in life is to be a good friend. I wanted to be the friend that wouldn’t be judgmental. A friend that would be a confidant. A friend that would be understanding and kind. A friend who would be reliable and more. I tend to go over and beyond for people I love; however, I’ve come to realize that not everyone goes over and beyond for me.
Today, the world loves to say, “If it’s not serving you, leave.” I would like to make an amendment to this statement. My reasoning is because sometimes a relationship (whether relational or platonic) won’t always be 50/50. If someone is going through a tough time, they may not be able to give you all that you need; however, you should be having your needs met more than not. I would say, “If the relationship isn’t reciprocal, reevaluate your proximity.”
For example, if you have a friendship where celebrating their accomplishments is always a priority, but your accomplishments aren’t taken into consideration, it may be time to consult the Lord on what to do. If being in close proximity with a person brings dread and annoyance but you stay in contact with this person out of loyalty, this may be a relationship that needs to end. (However, consult the Lord to be sure!)
The Lord values friendship. Look at Jonathan and David. Look at Jesus and the 12 disciples. If you think about it, the Trinity was the first friendship that existed. Because we are made in His image, not only does God want friendship with us, He has anointed people to be in friendships with us. However, remember that anything God creates, the enemy will try to distort to use against us. He’ll send people that on the surface may look like friends but are really harmful to us. He can work through people who really are our friends but have allowed the enemy to use them, for an example, Peter. Therefore, we need to be wise about who we call our friends. 1 Corinthians 15:33 (NLT) says: Don’t be fooled by those who say such things, for ‘bad company corrupts good character.’”
It can be hard distancing from certain friendships or rearranging a friendship arrangement. (Sometimes, what may be needed is to demote a former best friend to a quarterly coffee friend). This is where trusting on the Lord and asking Him to reveal who is for you and who isn’t. If you’re really bold, ask Him to prune your friend group and give you the strength and the ability to let go of the people He removes.
Like the adage says, “You’re only as good as the company you keep.” So keep people around you who speak life into you, who uplift you, who truly want to see you win. But not only that, return that same love to them.
Remember, friendship is reciprocal not parasitic.
