The Blinders of Jealousy
With the exception of traveling, I’m a planner and I like to have goals. As I’ve mentioned in a previous blog post, at 18, I had my entire life planned, including when I would get married and start having kids. As I’ve also told you, God reminded me of the saying, “If you want to see God laugh, tell Him your plans.” When those plans were thwarted, I changed plans and when those were thwarted, I changed my plans again. During this time, it seemed like one person in my life was getting everything I wanted, even down to the timeline I wanted to achieve my accomplishments. Although I was happy for this person’s success, I couldn’t help but to be jealous.
I thought things like: Why them and not me too, Lord? What did I do to make you not want to bless me with this?
I won’t lie. This caused me to get angry with God. It caused me to get angry and skeptical of the world.
One day, I realized the wrong in my jealousy and did apologize; although, I’m not sure if the person knew what all for.
As I write this years later, I can assume several different reasons as to why I didn’t receive what I wanted at that time. One of those reasons is I believe God has called me for something different. What I thought I wanted in one season was just a steppingstone in the life God created for me.
If you are jealous of someone else’s success, possessions or something else, be honest with God about it. Give it to Him and let Him deliver you from that. What you will discover is that God does everything for a reason. The reason you aren’t receiving what you want could be because your heart posture isn’t right, because of the people you are connected to or because it is not something God wants for your life. God has designed us all differently and because of that, what our friends, family, coworkers, etc. has may not be beneficial for us in the long run. Ask God to help you to want what He wants for your life. He may give you an immediate revelation or it may take years, but in either case, trust in God with all your heart and He will direct your path (Proverbs 3:5-6).
