Let’s Talk
Recently, I had a dream that addressed my hesitancy with communication. Since my dreams usually have a lot going on in them, I will spare you all the confusing details and explain what I believe were the highlights of the dream. The dream was set years ago when I was in elementary school. It was the last day of school and the following year, I would be attending jr. high (7th-9th grade). My boyfriend and I had an agreement, we would date until the end of the school year and then break up so we could enjoy jr. high without the distraction of a relationship. However, that’s not what I wanted, but I was scared to say anything. After my class was chased by loose lions and after I was cornered by two of them (wild animals have been a recurring theme in my dreams as of late), the school day ended and everyone was about to go home. My boyfriend approached me and I admitted I didn’t want to break up. Neither did he. I felt relieved and then I woke up.
I’ll be honest. Communication is NOT my strong suit. In the past, I would either carry the belief that people I care about should automatically know what I want or need; fear that if I expressed myself that people’s opinion of me would change; or fear that what I am trying to convey would become misconstrued and would be offensive. For those reasons, I mostly would keep my mouth shut and hope for the best.
However, as I get older, I see the negative consequences of my actions. Sometimes, my expression of my emotions erupts like a volcano, which at that point, my tone and delivery is offensive. Other times, my needs are not met, which leaves me feeling unheard, unseen and unappreciated. Also, as a result, my relationships tend to disintegrate and by the time I want to have a conversation about it, the relationship is beyond repair.
As I mentioned in another blog post, you must give your pain to God. To do that, you must communicate with God what you want and need. God can know exactly what is wrong with you, He can know the source of the problem, and He knows how to fix it, but until you are vocal with Him, He will not move on it. He is a gentleman that way.
I would like to present to you two passages in the Bible that showcase God wanting us to communicate with Him what it is we desire.
John 5:1-9 (NLT):
Afterward Jesus returned to Jerusalem for one of the Jewish holy days. Inside the city, near the Sheep Gate, was the pool of Bethesda, with five covered porches. Crowds of sick people – blind, lame, or paralyzed – lay on the porches. One of the men lying there had been sick for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him and knew he had been ill for a long time, he asked him, “Would you like to get well?”
“I can’t, sir,” the sick man said, “for I have no one to put me into the pool when the water bubbles up. Someone else always gets there ahead of me.”
Jesus told him, “Stand up, pick up your mat, and walk!”
Instantly, the man was healed! He rolled up his sleeping mat and began walking!
Luke 8:40-48 (NLT):
On the other side of the lake the crowds welcomed Jesus, because they had been waiting for him. Then a man named Jairus, a leader of the local synagogue, came and fell at Jesus’ feet, pleading with him to come home with him. His only daughter, who was about twelve years old, was dying.
As Jesus went with him, he was surrounded by the crowds. A woman in the crowd had suffered for twelve years with constant bleeding, and she could find no cure. Coming up behind Jesus, she touched the fringe of his robe. Immediately, the bleeding stopped.
“Who touched me?” Jesus asked.
Everyone denied it, and Peter said, “Master, this whole crowd is pressing up against you.”
But Jesus said, “Someone deliberately touched me, for I felt healing power go out from me.” When the woman realized that she could not stay hidden, she began to tremble and fell to her knees in front of him. The whole crowd heard her explain why she had touched him and that she had been immediately healed. “Daughter,” he said to her, “your faith has made you well. Go in peace.”
In both passages, Jesus asked questions that he DEFINITELY knew the answers to. He knew who needed healing, their names, why they needed healing, etc. So why would Jesus ask instead of just healing and move on? Because as I said earlier, He wants us to communicate with Him. As the cliché goes, “Closed mouths don’t get fed.”
I heard a pastor say that our relationships with humans mimic our relationship with God, meaning what you do with humans, you do with God. Basically, you develop habits that transfer to your relationship with God. Because I have a hard time communicating and being open with humans, I struggle communicating and being open with God when He already knows everything anyway. Our relationships with other humans have a variety of uses. One of those uses is to showcase and practice your love of God with others. Therefore, like I said, because I’m shut off from humans, I’m shut off with God.
Furthermore, if the Almighty requires communication, what do you think mere mortals require? This is a question I had to ask myself. God gave us a mouth, facial expressions and body language for a reason; it’s a way to communicate.
However, God does require us to communicate in a certain way. As The Woman’s Study Bible notes, “Christians are to
· Speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15, 25),
· Control angry words (Ephesians 4:26),
· Speak words of encouragement and healing (Ephesians 4:29),
· Avoid unkind or bitter speech (Ephesians 4:29),
· Speak words of forgiveness (Ephesians 32).
Therefore, if something is bothering you, do take time away to gather your thoughts and calm your emotions, but DON’T calm down and then believe that since you are calm you do not have to speak on the matter. That’s not communicating or is it honest.
As I write to y’all, I am preaching to me. Let’s do better for the remainder of 2022.
