Hi, my Name is
In life, we are constantly learning. As babies, we learn how to walk. As kids, we learn how to read and write. As teenagers, we learn how to drive and work. On top of what we are verbally taught, we also learn from actions. While learning, we learn to things: what to do or what not to do.
I learned that if I make good grades in school then I would be praised. I learned that if I put school first, then I could talk on the phone or hang out with friends. Observing relationships among my family, friends and friends’ family’s relationships taught me what to and what not to do in relationships. I compiled all this information and more to conclude that if you’re perfect, people will stay.
However, people were leaving. My ties between some family members were breaking. I was losing friends. Guys never wanted to stay. With each loss, I tried to change myself so that people would stay. I tried to be there for everybody whenever they needed me. I went out of my way to make people feel included. I silenced my voice so I wouldn’t be offensive. I did whatever it was that I thought would help people love me better because I didn’t think I was enough.
Because if I don’t get the good grades, I won’t be praised and I will be a failure. Because if I don’t attend this event, I’m not a good friend. Because if I don’t say what’s on my mind, I won’t emasculate the guy I like. If I’m not the perfect version of me, people won’t love me and people will leave.
In this season, God is forcing me to confront a lot about myself – both the good and the bad. He’s teaching me to have grace for myself when I make mistakes. He’s teaching me to forgive myself. He’s teaching me to show love to others. He’s teaching me how to care for myself. With that, He’s teaching me how to love myself – all of myself, flaws and all.
Psalm 139:13-16 (NIV) says:
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s
womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
Genesis 1:27 (NIV) says: “So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.”
1 John 3:1 (NIV) says: “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him.”
I had to realize that if I am enough for God and He loves me, then I am enough – PERIOD.
Despite my flaws, despite being emotional, despite being a hopeless romantic, despite being opinionated and despite other characteristics that may be annoying to others, I am enough.
