You Belong With Me
There was one point in college where I hated seeing couples. I tried my best not to observe couples doing cute coupley things like holding hands and cuddling. When I did, I became overwhelmed with feelings of sadness, jealousy and anger. It wasn’t fair! Why couldn’t it happen for me?! The longer time went on that I wasn’t in a relationship, the more I began to believe that it would never happen for me. I slipped deeper into depression.
One of the Ten Commandments, Exodus 20:17 (KJV) states, “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour’s.” In other words, don’t desire to have what your neighbor has to the point of jealousy and discontent.
In hindsight, I completely understand why God commands us not to covet what others have. When we covet what others have, whether money, job, car or relationship, we begin to feel discontentment with our own lives. Similar to what I experienced in college, we begin to feel emotions of sadness, anger and/or jealousy. These emotions can lead us to overworking, overcompensating, pretending to be someone we’re not and/or feeling defeated. These emotions snuff out the joy that God wants us to have in our lives. Moreover, essentially what we’re telling God is that you’re wrong, you made a mistake and you want my life to be full of despair, which is the exact opposite of Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV).
2 Corinthians 9:8 (NIV) says, “And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.” God isn’t trying to withhold blessings from you. God doesn’t love some people more than He loves you. However, God does know you. In my situation, I was very immature and I didn’t have a real relationship with God. Having a relationship was my idol; I cared more about having a relationship with man than I cared about having an active relationship with God. I believe that God withheld my spouse from me in college because, simply, I wasn’t ready.
I heard someone once say that God never tells us no. He either tells us, “Yes,” “I have better,” or “Not right now.” I’m not sure what it is you’re coveting, but I can assure you that there’s a reason why you aren’t being blessed with what you want. It could be God is trying to build a level of stewardship in you so when you are blessed, you won’t mismanage the blessing and lose it. It could be because He knows that as soon as He blesses you with the blessing, you’ll abandon your relationship with Him and make that blessing your god. It could be because what you are wanting is not part of your purpose at all.
There is a cure for covetousness, though, and it is called thankfulness. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NIV) says, “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” The enemy uses coveting to make you think that God has forgotten about you and to evoke all those negative emotions I listed earlier. It steals, kills and destroys your hope, your joy and your trust in God. When we become thankful for where we are and what we have, it shifts our mindset from what we don’t have to what God has blessed us with. (Read “Because I’m Happy” to see how shifting my mindset altered my life.) It reminds us that God is a good Father who wants the best for us. It strengthens our knowledge that we need to lean and depend on Him.
Moreover, The Woman’s Study Bible advises to free your heart of covetousness, you should:
Repent of a discontented heart (Philippians 4:11-12) (My note: Star, underline, bold! Always repent!)
Set your heart on things eternal (1 John 2:15-17)
Trust that God will keep His promises (Philippians 4:19; Hebrews 13:5) (My note: Notice it says His promises. Don’t get mad at God for something He never promised you.)
Yield to God’s plan for your life (2 Corinthians 9:8-10)
