What IF
As I’ve reflected on the decisions and moments that lead me to the present and begun to heal from the resulting trauma, there are moments where I wonder, what if?
What if I would’ve gone to a different high school? What if my mom would’ve stayed in the military until my senior year of high school? What if I would’ve embraced my single season earlier? What if I would’ve shut out the noise of others and stepped out on faith? The questions could go on and on.
Before I go too deep into the rabbit hole, I try to focus on the positive that everything happens for a reason. Proverbs 16:4 (NLT) says, “The Lord has made everything for his own purposes, even the wicked for a day of disaster.” It’s hard to recognize or understand why something is happening while you’re in the middle of it, but in hindsight, it makes more sense. It becomes clearer why certain people were removed from your life, why you didn’t get your dream job, and why certain challenges happened. God is omniscient, meaning He knows everything. Because He knows everything, God knew the decision and mistakes you would make before they were made. Psalms 139:1-4 (NIV) says:
“You have searched me, Lord,
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you, Lord, know it completely.”
Therefore, when I begin to feel regretful or wistful about how life should have gone, I remind myself that my mistakes were included in God’s plan and as I’ve recited numerous times before, “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them” (Romans 8:28, NLT). Moreover, remember God tells us in Jeremiah 29:11 that He has plans to prosper us and to give us hope and a future.
I just wanted to remind the person who is having a hard time forgiving themselves for past mistakes and thinking they missed out on who they were supposed to be,
