I am beautiful in every single way
The world’s standard of beauty changes often. Between celebrities and social media influencers, it’s easy to compare yourself to others. I’m not pretty enough. I’m not skinny enough. I’m not thick enough. The list can go on and on. I can admit that I’ve fallen victim to the trap of society’s view of beauty. When I was younger, I didn’t think I had the right body type or was pretty enough and the fact that not many boys would ask for my number when I was out didn’t help my belief either. Fast-forward to my undergrad years and with each failed situationship, the belief that I wasn’t pretty or worth it intensified. After I went through my first depression, my body changed drastically and it took a friend pointing out to me that after this point, I stopped taking pictures. After I contracted genital herpes, my self-worth hit below rock bottom. I started to believe that my outside appearance was a trap to how I really was on the inside. Shortly after, I discovered that my hair was severely damaged in the back and made an uneducated decision to go natural. (I say uneducated because I refused to acknowledge that growing my hair out without a perm was going natural.) Unaware of how to care for my hair without the ability to get it straightened regularly, my hair went through an interesting period.
In my resignation that I didn’t make enough to get my hair done as much as I wanted and that I couldn’t gain weight, I became apathetic to my appearance. I kept hope that once I started my career that I could afford to spend money on my hair and nails. However, life hit me like life hit Theo from The Cosby Show in the episode that his family pretended to be “the real world.” Bills came and after I paid those, most of my money went to food.
My belief, then, became when I make more money, I will be able to afford it. In the meantime, I started to do a little better when it came to my appearance. I would splurge every now and then and buy clothes, and when I wasn’t feeling lazy, I would try to care for my natural hair. Although most days I would look in the mirror and not like what I see, I would convince myself that this was temporary until I got a promotion or changed jobs.
One night while I was analyzing one of my dreams, I realized that one of my root problems was that I never felt pretty or worth it. I decided that night to make a better effort to change what I could. I would actually research and follow the hair care tips I would hear and learn. I decided to learn how to do my own nails. Shortly after this new determination, my best friend and her mom, whom I also call Mama, started sweetly preaching to me about keeping up my appearance. After a few rebuttals about the inability to do so due to lack of money, I realized that I could budget better to include hair care into my budget.
Learning to love the skin that I am in; making the conscientious decision to believe that I am beautiful despite my STD or any other traumatic events I have been through; and practicing self-care is a journey. I must admit I am enjoying it, most days. Some days I feel like this is way too much. However, I am noticing that the more I practice self-care by getting deeper into my faith, going to therapy, learning how to do my makeup, keeping my hair done, etc., the more beautiful I feel.
If you are struggling to see the beauty in yourself and that unbelief is inhibiting you to showcase it on the outside, here are some scriptures to help you understand that God isn’t just concerned about your spirit and soul, but how you view yourself, your outward appearance and how you carry yourself:
Psalms 139:14 (NIV): “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”
Romans 12:1 (NLT): “And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice – the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him.”
1 Corinthians 3:16-17 (NLT): “Don’t you realize that all of you together are the temple of God and that the Spirit of God lives in you? God will destroy anyone who destroys this temple. For God’s temple is holy, and you are that temple.”
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NLT): “Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God brought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.”
Because we are “fearfully and wonderfully made,” we should be confident that God thinks we are beautiful just the way we are, and as my Momma had to remind me, He doesn’t make mistakes. As the song says, “I am who He says I am.”
Therefore, if He says we are beautiful then DARN IT, we are BEAUTIFUL!
Furthermore, because God’s Holy Spirit rests in us and we represent Him and His Holy Spirit, our bodies must showcase that we are loved. As the older people say, “Look like someone cares about you.” When you love yourself the way God loves you, it radiates. People take notice. As The Woman’s Study Bible says, “A Christian woman’s appearance should be a complement to her inner spirit and never a hindrance to the kingdom of God. […] For a godly woman, good hygiene, healthy skin care, appropriate attire, and gracious manners are all expected to be a means of presenting an outward appearance that attracts others toward her life and ultimately gives her opportunity for sharing a testimony of the Christ who dwells within her.”
Now, I am not advocating for you to spend more money than you have to upkeep yourself, but what I am saying is start doing the things that you can do and start budgeting to be able to afford self-care needs. Start watching YouTube videos. Start following the hair care advice friends and coworkers tell you. Ask for tips.
